Posts Tagged ‘Prioritization’

Sacrificing To Accomplish A Goal

Monday, April 12th, 2010

 Thanks for checking back this week.  I hope you all had a wonderful Easter; I enjoyed my time with my family.

Try This At Home

Tie one end of a long rope to something and place a basket or box near where it is tied.  Stretch the rope out and lay it on the ground.  Alongside the rope, set up distractions: your child’s favorite treat, a game she likes to play, a cell phone, etc.  Have her hold the lose end of the rope and a ball.  Her objective is, in less than a minute, to make her way to the basket by moving along the rope, hand over hand, and then drop the ball into the basket.  She must keep at least one hand on the rope at all times and can not drop the ball.  She may have to tuck the ball under her arm.  As she works her way along the rope point out the distractions you’ve set out.  Explain that she doesn’t have time to stop and enjoy them if she wants to reach her objective and accomplish her goal; sometimes she will need to make sacrifices in order to get the job done.

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Making sacrifices is part of life.  We all make choices about what is most important to us and set priorities.  There is only so much time in a day and our resources are limited.  My posts on setting goals and priorities are important building blocks for one. As I say in those posts, it’s important for you to help your child set goals and prioritize the activities in her life. Once your child has a goal, she will most likely need to make sacrifices in order to accomplish it.  She may have to sacrifice certain foods, her time with friends or her participation in other activities.  Explain to her that sacrifices usually aren’t easy, pleasant or comfortable, but are worthwhile if she values the goal enough.

I started training quite seriously for cycling at a pretty young age and quickly learned about the need to make sacrifices.  I chose to quit swim team in order to have more time for cycling, not to take a month long summer school trip to different historic locations around the United States, and ultimately chose to graduate a year early so I could focus more on my cycling.  Throughout my career I sacrificed physically, emotionally and financially in order to accomplish my goal of making an Olympic team.  What is worth sacrificing is a very personal decision, and sometimes it changes as you go.  Sit down with your child and ask her what sacrifices she thinks she needs to make in order to accomplish her goals.  Next, ask her if she is willing to make them.

For more information about me or my children’s books, please visit www.erinmirabella.com.

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Posted in Goal Setting, Prioritization, Sacrifices | 2 Comments »

Taper- Resting Before A Competition For Peak Performance.

Monday, February 8th, 2010

Try This At Home………………………

Have your child hold her hands straight out to the side at shoulder height, like an airplane, for 30 seconds.  Depending on her age and ability you may need to make some adjustments by either decreasing or increasing the time or having her hold a water bottle in each hand for extra weight.  You want her to feel a little fatigue at the end of the 30 seconds, but most importantly, be successful in completing the task.  Afterward, tell her that this exercise is meant to show her what she can accomplish when she has allowed her body to rest before a performance.   

Next, have her hold her arms out first for 15 seconds, then 20 seconds and finally 25 seconds with a minute rest in-between.  After another minute or two of rest, have her hold her arms out for 30 seconds again, like she did in the first exercise.  Have her compare how she felt during the first 30 second exercise to the second time she did it.  Explain to her that  not allowing her body to rest and recover before a big competition can cause a less than optimal performance, just as it did in the second exercise. 

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Resting before a big competition or game is generally called a taper.  It is an extremely important part of achieving peak performance.  A complete taper is only done before the most important competitions.  A mini taper can be done before other competitions, but for some competitions your child may choose not to taper at all.  Your child needs to know what her ultimate goal is and understand that in order to be as prepared as possible, she may need to sacrifice by training through less important competitions.  In order to improve, she needs to increase her work load and intensity; if she is always tapering for relatively unimportant events, she won’t maximize her gains.

I found that racing unimportant races in a tired state was a great way to raise my game.  I am extremely competitive, so I always pushed myself harder in a race than I ever could train by myself, even when I was exhausted.

A mini taper generally ranges from a few days to a week.  During my career, my main goal each year was either the World Championships or the Olympics.  Therefore, before World Cups and important National selection races I only did a mini taper.  All of the coaches I worked with during my cycling career worked backward from my competition when they developed my taper. 

  • The day before my competition I did what we called,”openers”.  Openers were about half of a normal workout and focused on the heart rate zones and intensity I’d be using most in my race.  The purpose was to wake my body up and make sure it was ready to work hard again after several days of rest. 
  • Two days before my race I would go for an easy hour ride. 
  • Three days before my competition I would generally do an easy hour ride as well, but sometimes I would take completely off. 
  • Four and five days out I’d do a normal workout, but I would control myself and wouldn’t over do it.  If I did a second workout either day, it consisted of an easy half hour to hour ride.
  • Six days out I’d generally ride for an easy hour or two. 

A big taper can begin anywhere from a week to two weeks out from the competition. It follows the same structure as a mini taper, but is less dramatic further  from the competition.  In my regular training I generally trained three to four days in a row before taking an easy day.  Often I did two workouts a day.  For a big taper, two weeks out I’d decrease to one intense workout a day, and if there was a second workout it would just be an easy ride.  I’d also decrease the number of intense days between rest days, so instead of going three days before a rest day, I’d do two days or sometimes even one.

It is easy to think that more is better and that last minute cramming will pay off, but in general you child is better off going into her competition rested. That is a true statement for sports as well as other activities and academics.

Every athlete and every sport is different, but the principle is the same; peak performances come from rested athletes.  Decreasing her work load is the most import part of a taper, but making sure she is getting proper sleep and nutrition is also important.  She should know, that just because she has a rest day doesn’t mean she can go play Ultimate Frisbee with her friends, or spend hours on her feet shopping.  She truly needs to rest if she wants to perform at her best.  

For more information on myself or my children’s books please visit www.erinmirabella.com

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Posted in Peak Performance, Pre-competition routine | 1 Comment »

Goal Setting, Part 2

Monday, January 25th, 2010

 Try This At Home……………..

Next time your child fails at achieving her goal, have her make a list of everything that she did well and a list of all the things that did not go well.  Then have her analyze the second list and come up with ways to fix or improve upon them.   Once those things are fixed, have her try again.

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We’ve all failed to accomplish a goal at one time or another.  It’s normal to feel lousy when it happens, but the more productive response would be to figure out why it happened.  Cavett Robert said, “Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds you down or polishes you up, is for you and you alone to decide.”  You can let your failures control and define you, or you can learn from them and use them to your advantage.  The choice is yours.

Fear of failure was the thing that I struggled most with during my cycling career.  I was so afraid of not being perfect that I would agonize over the possibility of failure.  Like everything in life, the thing that you dwell on is what comes to be, and left unchecked my fear became a self fulfilling prophesy.  Fear of failure is a separate post all to itself, but I mention it because in learning to deal with my fear, I learned an important lesson about failure…….While failure is unpleasant, it doesn’t make you a failure and it isn’t the end of the world.  It’s simply a step toward becoming successful.  You won’t find a successful person out there who hasn’t failed a few times in the process. 
                                                           
We all want to protect our kids and hate to see them fail, but as I’ve said over and over again in my blog posts, your child will learn far more from failing than they will from success.  Sure, failure isn’t any fun, but it can teach a valuable lesson. 

                                                                                    Reasons Why We Fail

We Went About It Wrong

Most likely the reason your child failed is because she went about it the wrong way.  This is the most valuable lesson in failing.  If she can realize where she went wrong and fix it, then the next time she’ll be successful. Help her analyze the situation and figure how she can improve.  

Lack of Motivation/ Follow Through

If your child seems unmotivated to do what is necessary to accomplish her goal, then it might be time for her to access if the goal is still important to her.  Sometimes priorities change.  My husband quit his wrestling career in the middle of a tournament.  In the middle of a match, he decided it just wasn’t fun anymore.

The other option may be that she just doesn’t want to put in the work.  She wants the reward that comes with accomplishing her goal, but she isn’t willing to do what it takes to get there.  In the end if she fails at her goal because of her work ethic then she’ll learn an important life lesson.  Letting her learn this lesson the hard way, while she is young, is the best gift you can give her.

Lack of focus

Your child may fail to accomplish her goals, because she isn’t focused enough at the task at hand.  She needs to choose which goal is most important and give that the most attention.  She may not know how to focus.  Focusing is a learned thing and is something that is crucial to success in all aspects of life.  Check out my previous prioritization blog for tips on teaching your child to prioritize and stay tuned in a few weeks for my post on the art of focusing. 

Unrealistic Expectations

Your child’s goals may be unrealistic.  If she fails to meet her goal it’s a great opportunity for her to be completely honest about why it happened.  She may have inadvertently set herself up for failure by setting an unrealistic goal.  Help her learn to set realistic goals.  This doesn’t mean that she can’t dream big, it just means she has to be realistic about things like her timetable, talents, abilities, etc.  Some goals take a long time to reach, and some people are better suited at achieving some goals than others.  

If she has failed to reach her goal the first thing she should look at is her timetable.  Maybe her goal would be more achievable if she gave herself more time.  She may also need to add in some additional sub-goals.  Maybe her plan is missing a few steps.

The harder thing for her to do will be to access her abilities. She may find her talents lend themselves better to a new and different goal. She may find she has more to lose by continuing her pursuit than she does by throwing in the towel.  The choice is never an easy one, but this too is an important lesson to learn. 

Part of learning to set goals, is learning what to do when it doesn’t work out.  It is an important skill set for your child to develop.  Learning from their failure will make them successful.

For more information on myself or my children’s books please visit www.erinmirabella.com  My book, Gracie Goat’s Big Bike Race, is an excellent way to talk about overcoming fears with your child.

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Posted in Goal Setting, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Prioritization- “Having it all” is a myth

Monday, October 26th, 2009

Try This At Home……..

Gather together as many balls as you can find. Tell your child that the balls are like the activities and responsibilities in their life.  Hand them two or three balls.  Explain that, like the balls, when they only have two or three activities and responsibilities to focus on, they can keep them all under control and do very well at them.  Then keep handing them more and more balls until they start dropping them.  Explain that, just like the balls, the more activities and responsibilities they take on, the more things get left undone or done poorly.   Too many balls lead to mediocrity.

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I was freed from most of my unrealistic expectations the day that I realized that the expression, “You can have it all”, was a myth.  I realized that I can only keep so many balls in the air at one time and if I get over zealous my whole world comes crashing down. 

Our resources are scarce.  There are only so many hours in a day and we only have so much time, energy and money.   You can focus on doing a few things very well and allow some other things to lag behind. Or you can try to do everything, and the odds are that none of it will be done extremely well. You’ve heard the expression, Jack-of-All-Trades, Master of None.  For example, you may be able to have a career and be the kind of mother or father you want to be, but that probably means that you aren’t making it to the gym three days a week anymore and you need to hire someone to help clean the house.  Something’s gotta give!

Teaching your children to prioritize their activities and responsibilities at a young age is important.   It will help them to be successful in the things that matter most.  If they have too many activities and responsibilities they get spread too thin and aren’t able to excel at any of them.  When kids are young they should try all sorts of activities: different sports, instruments, arts, etc.  Exposing them to as many things as possible gives them a higher probability of finding their “perfect fit”, their passion.  That doesn’t mean they have to have an activity every night of the week, but they also shouldn’t have to just pick one sport or activity and be stuck in it.  Having said that, even young kids need to understand that something’s are more important than others and that they will be good at what they practice.   The best way to teach them responsibility and specialization is to make it a habit when they are young.  They need to finish their homework, study for their test, practice their instrument, go to soccer practice and/or set the table, before they play video games or watch TV.   Sit down with them and have them help you make a list of priorities. (This leads into the topic of making sacrifices, but we’ll save that for another post.)

Once your child finds their passion, specializing in it will bring them more success and with success comes confidence, which is always a good thing.  Specialization will also help them hone other skills, like time management, discipline, work ethic and goal setting. 

If your child wants to be really good at something, then they need to make it a priority. It doesn’t mean that they have to give up everything else, but some of the less important things are going to get less attention.  Something’s gotta give.

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Posted in Goal Setting, Prioritization, Selecting a sport | 3 Comments »