Posts Tagged ‘Children’s books’

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Responsibility

Monday, May 10th, 2010

Try This At Home……………………

Have your child make a list of everything she needs for practice.  Then make it her responsibility to pack her bag the night before and make sure it is by the door ready to go. 

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The best way to learn responsibility is to have some.  Playing sports, or being in another activity, allows your child many opportunities to practice being responsible.   From packing her bag for practice to performing her job for the team, she is showing her ability to handle responsibilities. 

Every child is different and some are ready for more responsibility than others.   Your child may be able to pack her bag for practice, while her sister might be up for washing her laundry between practices.  Like everything, learning to be responsible takes practice and your child may have to make some mistakes before she can be considered responsible.  The beauty of teaching responsibility is the natural consequences that go along with it.  If your child forgets her helmet, she may not be able to practice that day, if she isn’t ready on time, she might be late for a game, and if he doesn’t get her uniform into the hamper, she may have to wear stinky clothes to practice.    

Moving away from home to the Olympic Training Center was a lot like going away to college, and I found myself suddenly with a lot more responsibilities and freedoms.  Learning to juggle them was important if I wanted to succeed as a professional cyclist and make the Olympic Team.  It was interesting to watch how different athletes handled the freedom and responsibility that went along with living away from home.  Unlike most colleges, there were both sixteen year old and twenty four year old athletes living in the same dorm building.   In most cases there was a stark difference between their maturity and life experiences, however age wasn’t the only factor that determined if an athlete was responsible or not.  The foundation of trust, confidence and responsibility that an athlete had when they arrived at the center, made a huge difference in their ability to be successful there.  You wont’ always be there to help your child with every little thing, but the lessons you teach her when she’s young will stay with her.

Here are a few places to start giving your child some responsibility

  • Have her get their things ready for practice the night before and put them by the door, or in the car.
  • Have her pack a healthy snack to eat between school and practice.
  • Have her put their uniform in the hamper or teach her to wash her own clothes.
  • Have her set an alarm that warns her it’s time to go to practice or a game.
  • Require her to get her homework done each night if she want to go to practice the next day. 
  • Have her follow through with her commitments to the team.  Don’t let her quit in the middle of a season.

Learning to be responsible is an important lesson long after your child leaves the field of play.  It will prepare her for the real world.  As much as it is sometimes easier to do something for your child, try to be patient and allow her the opportunity to do it herself.  She has no reason to learn to be responsible if you are always doing everything for her. Slowly increase her responsibilities and before long her activities will be less stressful for you and she will gain confidence.  Giving her responsibilities also tells her you trust her; this is a good relationship to foster as she gets older. 

For more information about me and my children’s books, please visit www.erinmirabella.com.

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Posted in Confidence, Responsibility | 2 Comments »

Coaching Issues

Monday, March 29th, 2010

Try This At Home…………………….

Evaluate your child’s coach.  Have your child write down three things he likes about his coach and three things he doesn’t like. If necessary, have him elaborate on his answers.  Next, you rate his coaches on a scale of 1-5, with 5 being the highest, in the following categories.  Values and morals, communication skills, positive attitude, language choices, fairness, ability to teach and promote teamwork, sportsmanship, ability to physically prepare the kids, ability to motivate, compatibility with your child.  If your child is old enough to understand, he can rate his coach as well.  Don’t share your answers until you are both finished.  If your child’s answers, or any of your ratings, are alarming, it may be time to make a change.

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We all put great thought into which daycare or babysitter we leave our young child with.  We want to make sure our child is safe and happy and that the morals and values of the caregiver are similar to ours.  We need to put just as much thought into who is coaching our child.  Coaches do more than assign kid’s positions on the field, run drills, and help get your child physically ready for the demand of his sport.  A coach is in the position to instill values and morals in your child, and set examples in areas like teamwork, sportsmanship and work ethic.  The odds are your child will look up to his coach and will emulate him or her. 

At all the national events throughout my entire cycling career, one of the ever present coaches was a hot headed, offensive coach who displayed all sorts of poor sportsmanship.  My first encounter with him was at Junior Nationals and unfortunately I continued to “run” into him until I retired from cycling.  For the life of me I can’t understand why anyone would choose him as their coach.  While some of his riders did get some good results, there were several other coaches who could get the job done just as well.  I found it interesting that adults submitted themselves to his antics and behavior, but just plain appalling that parents subjected their children to it.  Even if they thought he was the best coach out there, I can’t believe they would leave their children in his care.  By doing so they were telling their child that they condoned the coach’s behavior.

Part of the importance of sport, and the whole point of my blog, is to utilize sports to teach the fundamentals and building blocks needed to succeed in all areas of life. I think that one of the most important thing sports can instill in your child, is the deep founded belief that more important than winning, is how you play the game.  This lesson, while it may not always put him on top, will ensure that he can always be proud of who he is and what he accomplished.  The coaches you allow to work with your child over the course of his life will play a big part in laying the foundation for his values and morals. A good coach will reinforce positive sportsmanship and values and a bad coach will do just the opposite. 

In an individual sport you have a lot of discretion as to who you choose as your child’s coach.  For team sports that may not always be the case.  If you have an issue with your child’s coach, you may have an opportunity to switch leagues or teams, but if that isn’t an option, you still have a few choices.  Being interactive is the most important part.  Know what is going on at practice and games so you can discuss any situations that arise with your child. Talk with other parents to see if they have had similar experiences with the coach.  At a time when everyone is calm and rational, you can have a discussion with the coach.  You don’t need to attack him or her, just voice your concern.  You can also raise your concerns with the league.  If you don’t have any other options, and you feel very strongly about the affect a coach is having on your child, you can always try a different sport. 

The odds are, while a coach may not be your favorite for one reason or another, he or she isn’t all that bad, but it is important for parents to be aware and involved.

My children’s book, Shawn Sheep The Soccer Star, focuses on teamwork and sportsmanship.  In the book, the soccer coach is an excellent example of an exemplary coach.  The book is a good way to start a discussion with your child about these topics. 

For more information about me or my children’s books, please visit www.erinmirabella.com.

I’m taking next week off for spring break.  Please check back for my next post on April 12th.

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Posted in Coaching, values and morals | 2 Comments »

Risk Taking

Monday, March 22nd, 2010

Try This At Home…………………

Take three paper bags. In the first bag, place one piece of candy that your child really likes.  In the second bag, place two pieces of the same candy.  In the third bag, place one piece of her favorite candy.  Place the three closed paper bags in front of your child.  Don’t let her touch them.  Tell her that the first bag contains one piece of the candy she really likes. She can choose to take that bag, or she can take a risk and chose one of the other bags.  Explain that by accepting the risk and taking one of the other bags, she may find an even better surprise, but it could also be just an empty bag.  Tell her that the purpose of the exercise is to encourage her to take smart risks.  Share the rest of the blog with her.  

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Each of us has a choice; we can live safe in our comfort zone, or we can challenge ourselves and take some calculated risks.  Taking smart risks offers us the possibility of  achieving more than we ever could have imagined.  There is a saying I like, I believe it’s also a book title. “Shoot for the moon: even if  you miss you’ll land among the stars.” 

When it comes to taking a risk, the question you need to ask yourself is, “What have you got to lose?”  More often than not, the answer is, nothing but a bit of pride.  Taking a calculated risk is often what it takes to get ahead.  If we always live life in our comfort zone we don’t allow ourselves many opportunities to shine.   Likewise, if we always know what the outcome is before we start, we never get a chance to find out what we’re truly are capable of.  I think it’s safe to say that a lot of  people underestimate themselves.

On the other hand, sometimes there is something to lose from taking a risk. A risk is just that, a risk, there is no guarantee. That is why I like to use the term calculated risk.  Your child will need to weigh her choices, sometimes rather quickly.  If the potential upside, outweighs the potential downside, then it is probably a risk worth taking.  Likewise, the opposite is true.   If the downside of taking the risk, outweighs the potential upside, then your child should probably choose to pass. 

In my children’s book, Gracie Goat’s Big Bike Race, Gracie agrees to compete in a bike race with her friends, but she fails to mention that she doesn’t know how to ride a bike and that she’s afraid to learn.  Her Grandma comforts her and asks her what the worst thing is that can happen if she gives learning to ride a try.  She then asks what the worst thing is that could happen if she doesn’t try to learn. Through the questioning, Gracie realizes that either way her answer is the same.  She really has nothing to lose.  She can try to learn and if she fails her friends may laugh at her and she won’t be able to join them in the bike race, or she can not try, and her friends still might laugh at her and she won’t be able to race with them in the bike race.  The story is meant to help children overcome and rationalize their fears, but the approach can also be used to teach your child to take risks. The next time your child is contemplating a risk, have her play the Gracie game.  Ask her, what is the worst thing that can happen if she takes the risk and it doesn’t work out.  Next, ask her what is the best thing that can happen if she takes the risk and it does work out.  Also, have her think about what will happen if she chooses not to take the risk. 

Taking a risk and failing, is simply a mistake to be learned from.  Throughout my cycling career, and life, I’ve found that sometime the only way to reach your goal is by taking risks.  Sometimes taking a risk and failing turns out to be a blessing in disguise, because it makes you better.  Have your child think of it like this:  Her goal is like a really high wall.  She’s climbing up it, but she’s stuck just a short distance from the top.  There is no where else for her to grab.  By taking a risk and failing, her wall will crumble some, but the crumbled wall may make a new hand hold for her that will allow her to keep climbing.  She can take advantage of her mistake and let it help her scale the wall and stand on top victorious.

Taking a risk can be scary, but really, what do you have to lose?

Note- There are good risks and bad risks.  It’s important for your child to know the difference.  No amount of success or glory is more valuable than life.  Taking a dangerous risk, one that could get you hurt, or worse, isn’t a good risk to take.  (However, sports are inherently dangerous, so there is always some risk involved.  A skilled athlete taking a reasonable, but risky chance, is sometimes what it takes to win.)

For more information on me or my children’s books, please visit www.erinmirabella.com.

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Posted in Goal Setting, Overcoming fears, Risk Taking | 1 Comment »

Seizing Opportunities

Monday, March 15th, 2010

Try This At Home…………….

Chose a task that requires leaving the house and ask your child to join you.  It should be a task that isn’t overly thrilling, something like grocery shopping, taking the recycling to the recycling center, etc.  Make his coming a choice. Say something like, “I’m taking the recycling to the recycling place, do you want to come give me a hand?”  If he decides to go with you, take the opportunity to stop and get some ice cream together afterward.  If he chooses not to join you, stop and get the ice cream without him and bring it home so he realizes that he missed out on the opportunity.  Regardless of what he decides, use the situation as an example to explain the importance of opportunities.  Explain that opportunities can arise anywhere, at anytime and in many forms.  Some may come from a bit of luck, but most opportunities arise from putting yourself in a good situation and being prepared for what ever happens.  Share the information below with your child.  Also, ask him to think of a time where he seized an opportunity, or missed one?  He may have to think a bit, but my guess is he’ll come up with a few.  If he is very young, you may have to help him think of one.

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My son Micah is two and a half.  At the end of his gymnastic class, they always play with a parachute.  A few weeks ago the teacher asked him if he wanted to help pull out the parachute, but he was distracted and by the time he got over there some other kids had jumped in and helped her.  He was upset and started crying.  In the meantime, the teacher had all of the kids sit in the middle of the parachute so they could go for a ride.  Micah wouldn’t get in the middle. I even tried to lift him up and put him in there, but he wouldn’t have it, he was still too upset about not getting to help pull out the parachute.   I ended up having to pull him aside.  He calmed down some and I brought him back out for the next activity, but he got even more upset when he realized he’d missed the parachute ride. He was so busy crying about wanting to do the ride, that he missed the next activity too.  Needless to say, the class didn’t end well.  My point in sharing my son’s temper tantrum with you is that sometimes, like him, we are so focused on the past, we miss out on the present and don’t jump at a new opportunity. 

Success is usually the product of hard work, determination, persistence and discipline but there are a few other components that can come into play. Sometimes success comes from seizing an opportunity that presents itself, even though it wasn’t part of the original plan. Teaching your child to be flexible, spontaneous and optimistic will help him take advantage of opportunities as they present themselves. 

Three Keys To Seizing Opportunities

1. Putting Yourself In the Right Place

The biggest part of being able to take advantage of an opportunity is putting yourself in the right position. Your child can’t get the ice cream, if he isn’t in the car when you stop for a scoop.  If your child has put in the work and is prepared, he’ll be ready and able to jump at a good opportunity.

I felt absolutely awful at the 2003 National Championships in Trexlertown, Pennsylvania.  I didn’t have good legs all week.  In the point’s race, despite being in a breakaway with two other riders, I felt absolutely awful.  (The points race is a mass start event where a group, or pack, of cyclists race to see who can acquire the most points.  You get points from both sprinting and gaining a lap on the field.  A breakaway is where several riders get out in front of the main group, thereby collecting most of the points.) Normally sprinting was my strong suit, but for some reason during this particular race I just didn’t have the legs.  I knew I was going to take third unless I did something; the problem was I just couldn’t get my legs to go.  Then, an opportunity presented itself, and I took it.  Our breakaway of three riders was about to lap the main group of cyclists.  There were only a few laps left in the race and the group was only about a turn in front of us, maybe about 100 to 150 meters.  The other two girls in the group had more points than me and were so busy focusing on each other, that they kind of forgot about me.  Any rider who lapped the field earned twenty points, so if I lapped the field and the two other girls in my breakaway did not, then I would win the race.  While they watched each other, I surprised them and took off really fast, breaking away from them.  I put my head down and rode as hard as I could to catch the group.  Once I caught the group I couldn’t let the other two catch as well, so I went to the front and pulled everyone along.  I managed to prevent the other two girls from catching the group and won the race.  I won the race, not because I was riding great that day, but because I put myself in a position that allowed me to take the opportunity when I saw it. 

2. Shaking It Off

Often times an opportunity presents itself after something else has not gone as planned.  Being able to set aside disappointment and not dwell on the past will help your child stay focused, keep an optimistic mindset and see new opportunities.  As hard as it is to believe sometimes, the past does not equal the future.  Mistakes are good chances to learn and improve.  Just because something didn’t work out, doesn’t mean that it’s a lost cause.  Sometimes your child will have time to regroup after a misstep, other times an unexpected opportunity my follow immediately; he just needs to stay focused and roll with the punches.

If I’d given up during the 2003 National points race, because my legs felt lousy and the race wasn’t going well, I never would have taken the chance I did and I never would have won the race.

3. Being A Risk Taker

Most opportunities aren’t a sure thing.  In many cases, in order to seize an opportunity, you have to take a risk.  A lot of the time, like in my case during the points race, you have nothing to lose by trying.  Next week’s blog will be about risk taking, so stay tuned.

Encourage your child to work hard and keep a good attitude so that he can be ready to pounce on an opportunity when it presents itself.  Remind him that an opportunity can pop up at any time.

For more information on me, or to purchase one of my children’s books, please visit www.erinmirabella.com

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Posted in Opportunities, competition, winning and losing | 2 Comments »

Lacking Motivation

Monday, March 8th, 2010

Sorry, no try this at home section this week.  I couldn’t think of anything good.  If I come up with something, I’ll add it to next week’s post.

This week’s post is a request from a friend whose daughter is tired after school and unmotivated to go to practice.  Although she doesn’t feel like going, she loves it once she gets there.

My friends daughter may be “just a kid,” but we can all totally relate to how she’s feeling.  I can’t even count the number of days that I think I’m going to work out after I put the kids to bed, but instead end up dragging myself to the couch exhausted and way to unmotivated to go into the cold garage and run on the treadmill.  There were days like that during my cycling career as well.  On the days when I was sore and tired, I could come up with 1,000 different reasons to procrastinate doing my workout.  (It always amazed me how urgent cleaning the refrigerator or alphabetizing my DVD’s became, when I was dreading hill repeats.)   I always ended up eventually doing my workout, but that doesn’t mean that I always felt like doing it.

My point is that my friend’s daughter is perfectly normal.  However, as a parent there are a few things to consider. 

Does Your Child Still Like The Activity?   

If the answer is yes, then I offer some tips later in the post that may help motivate her. If the answer is no, then it may be time to look into a new activity, or at least take a break for awhile.  I’m a firm believer in finishing what you start, so it’s alright to insist she finish out the season, or session.  Once she’s completed her obligation let her pick a new activity to try.

Does She Have Too Many Activities?

Kids have long, busy days, and it’s easy for them to feel overloaded and overwhelmed with activities.  Just like adults, kids need down time.  If your child has an activity every day after school, is feeling overwhelmed and starting to dread the stuff she loves, it may be time to lighten her load.

Or,

Maybe she isn’t too busy, but instead she just needs a few minutes to recharge before her activities.  Having a chance to eat a snack and relax for a few minutes might help her feel rejuvenated and ready to practice. 

On the flip side, sometimes once I sit down and relax, I find it’s a lot harder to get going again, especially if I’m being pulled away from my favorite television show.  If that seems to be the case, it might help to leave the television off.  You can always tape her favorite show for her and let her watch it later.

Remind them of their obligation.

In very few situations do our actions just affect us.  Remind your child that she signed on for the entire season or session, and that her team and coach are counting on her.  Ask her what would happen if all of the kids on the team were tired and decided to skip practice?  Ask her, worse yet, what would happen if all the kids showed up, but the coach decided he didn’t feel like it.  This is a great opportunity to help your child see the big picture and talk with her about fulfilling her obligations.

The Reward

Your child may say that she loves the games, but doesn’t want to practice.  Unfortunately, that’s just not how it works.  Explain that the game is the reward, but in order to earn the reward, she has to do the work. Also, she probably wouldn’t like the games as much, or do as well, if she didn’t practice for them.  Whether she’s at school, playing sports, or at home doing chores, there is always going to be something that she likes doing the least, but it still has to get done.  No one wants to pick up the dog poop, but if you want to experience the joy and companionship of a dog, you’ve got to do it.  Likewise, everyone likes sledding down the hill, but you can’t enjoy the fun if you don’t walk up the hill first.

Throughout my ten year cycling career my ultimate goal was the Olympic Games.  Ten years is a long time to stay motivated, and there were times that I struggled.  However, I knew that I’d have to put in the work if I wanted to make the Olympic team. That is why, no matter how much I procrastinated, I always did my workout.  I knew that for every workout I skipped, one of my competitors was doing hers.  For me, the reward was so important, that I was willing to do the work no matter how I felt.

Remind your child that she isn’t alone.  It’s normal to feel unmotivated sometimes.  The real test is whether she’s going to give in to it.  If she likes what she’s doing, it’s worth doing all the way.

For more information about me, or my children’s books, please visit www.erinmirabella.com.

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Posted in motivation, values and morals | 2 Comments »

Someone Is Always Watching

Monday, March 1st, 2010

This At Home……….

Without asking for specifics, as your child to think about a time when they did something that they regretted doing in public.  Have them imagine how much worse it would have been, if it were broadcast for the whole world to see.  If he wants to share the details that’s fine, but respect his privacy. Ask him how his actions affected him and how he thinks they may have affected others. (Family, friends, coach, etc.)

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Even if you’re not famous, someone is always watching.  You never know how your actions, good or bad, will affect those around you.  It could be as simple as your child watching how you react to a driver who cuts you off in traffic, or a stranger watching you help another stranger.  Help your child understand that their actions have consequences and that one moment of carelessness, in some cases, can have huge repercussions. 

With today’s technology, even for the “unknown,’ there really aren’t any private moments in public places.  Help your child understand the these days everyone has a camera, because everyone has a cell phone. His behavior, good or bad, is literally just a keystroke away from being in cyber space for everyone to see. If you are famous, or at least temporarily in the spotlight, it is even more crucial for you to think before you act. 

I was planning to write about seizing the moment, but I just saw a story on Geraldo At Large, on Fox, about all of the athletes gone wild at the Olympic Village, and felt compelled to blog about it.

Every Olympics there is a news story about all of the condoms shipped to the Olympic Village and a story about some athlete who gets a little too out of control. 

This Olympics the spot light is on the American snowboarder, Scotty Lago.  After winning the bronze medal, he went out to celebrate in Vancouver.  Someone shot a picture of him behaving questionably, and after its release on the internet, he volunteered to leave the Olympic Village, presumably with some pressure from the United States Olympic Committee.

The hot topic seems to be whether or not the Olympic Committee overreacted, but I prefer to focus on the lesson.  However, I do feel compelled to say this, when at the Olympics, athletes are representing more than themselves.  It’s natural for athletes to want to blow off steam after four years of preparation, and the huge let down that comes when all the pressure is off after competition.  However, athletes need to remember that while they are at competitions, they represent more than just themselves. They represent their families, sponsors and their country.  So, regardless of whether or not you think what Scotty did is worthy of getting booted from the Olympic Village, you have to take into account how it reflects on the other parties involved.  We know how the Olympic Committee reacted, but I can only imagine how his sponsors and family felt.   For some celebrities, even bad press is a good thing. For others, like Olympians and Tiger Woods, whose image is built on being wholesome and squeaky clean, it has the potential to be damaging.  (I say potential, because sometimes the public is surprisingly forgiving.)

Remind your child that besides having to deal with the consequences of his actions, he also potentially affects others around him, including  family, friends, team and school.  There is nothing wrong with having some fun, but there is also nothing wrong with keeping it under control and acting responsibly.

For younger children, my book, Shawn Sheep The Soccer Star, is a great way to start a discussion about how a person’s, “or sheep’s” behavior can affect those around him.  Please visit www.erinmirabella.com for more information about my children’s books.

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Posted in Role Models, Sportsmanship, values and morals | 3 Comments »

Genetic Testing

Monday, February 15th, 2010

This week I’m breaking from my normal routine and focusing on a news story I saw about Atlas Sports Genetics.  The Boulder based company does DNA testing on kids to determine their genetic predisposition as an endurance or sprint athlete.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having your child tested, I just think in 99.9% of the cases the money is best spent elsewhere. The company claims that the information derived from the test will help kids select their ideal sport, and may increase their chances of a college scholarship.  While this may be a true, it is also a fantastic marketing scheme that plays on the emotions of loving, well intentioned parents, who want to give their child every advantage.  The truth is, you don’t need a fancy test to tell you what your child is predisposed to, all you have to do is watch him. 

The Atlas First basic test, priced at $169, tests both copies of the ACTN3 gene for the presence of the R577X variant.  It’s been a long time since I’ve studied genetics, but according to their website, if both genes have the R577X variant, then your child is predisposed to endurance events.  If only one gene has the variant, your child may do well at both endurance and sprint events, and if neither gene contains the variant your child is predisposed to sprint and power events.  In addition to the basic test, they offer the Atlas Pro test for a measly $999, which in addition to the DNA test, includes a vertical and broad jump assessment chart, electronic timer and EPIC Talent Identification Ratings based on your results. 

The Atlas Sports Genetics tests don’t tell you exactly what sport your child should play, only the type of sport he may excel at.  While I don’t doubt that the results would be accurate and informative, I find them unnecessary.  There is a much simpler and free way to determine what your child is predisposed to.  All you have to do is enroll your child in a variety of activities, or just watch him play.  If he’s a swimmer and excels at the long events, but is not as good at the short events, then he’s probably predisposed to do well at endurance events.  If he plays basketball and has a great vertical and can sprint faster than most of his teammates, but lags behind on your family’s 10 mile bike ride, then he is probably predisposed to do well at sprint and power events.  If he seems pretty good at both, then he probably can go either way and should try to find a sport that requires both endurance and speed and power.

Encourage your child to try a wide variety of sports and activities that utilize whichever area he is predisposed to.  He will find the sport he loves and wants to pursue.  If it happens to be a sport that doesn’t fit into the category he’s predisposed to, I wouldn’t worry too much.  You can always introduce him to new sports you feel he’d be better at, while he is playing the one he chose.  The important thing is that he loves it.   Even the most talented kid on the field won’t have any success if he doesn’t want to be there.  The reality is that kids, like adults, like to do what they are good at and will naturally gravitate towards sports that suit them. There is certainly nothing wrong with encouraging your child to try something new, just make sure not to take away what he already loves.

I found my strength simply by trying a wide variety of events within cycling.  When I was fourteen I set a national record in a 200 meter time trial, a sprint power event.  For years I thought I was destined to be a track sprinter.  A few years later, I remember doing very well on a long, hilly road ride while at a training camp at the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs. At the end of the camp they encouraged me to road race and I insisted that I wanted to be a track sprinter.  Thankfully, I continued to compete in the endurance events as well, and in 1996 I was invited to move to the Olympic Training Center as part of the endurance track program.  I am a combination athlete, I can go either way.  What I found was that I excelled at events that combined both endurance and speed and power.  While I was a good sprinter, I was not as strong and fast as an elite sprinter.  Similarly, while I had good endurance and loved to climb, I did not have the endurance and stamina of an elite endurance rider.  I was perfectly suited for events, like the points race, that combined the two.  

There is great value in determining what your child’s strengths and weaknesses are, but there is so much more that goes into it. Drive, determination and work ethic often out weigh raw talent. 

Atlas Sports Genetics offers additional testing in its Atlas Pro package, the vertical jump, 10 meter dash and Pro agility run.  There is no doubt that these are good tests to gauge improvement.  However, you and your child can do them, or something similar, at home for much less than $999. While their testing equipment may be fancier and their rating system may give you some insight, I’m not convinced they’re necessary.  I don’t think having a rating would really help you or your child.  A high rating doesn’t guarantee success, and a low one doesn’t guarantee failure.  As your child moves through the levels of his sport: local, state, regional, national, and international, you’ll see each step of the way how he rates.  

One of my hesitations about the test is the potential for the information to be used carelessly, either inflating egos unnecessarily, or discouraging kids prematurely and damaging their self confidence.  As much as we all want our kids to be great athletes, every child has their own special and unique talents, and not all of them are going to be Elite athletes. I’d hate to see your child hang his worth and potential on a rating, when so much more is involved in being a successful athlete.  Throughout my career I was told by a handful of people that I was no good.   After finishing fourth at the Olympics I certainly felt vindicated, but some of their wounds left scars. 

I think, in this case, the best bet is to skip the fancy expensive testing, and instead, offer your child a lot of different experiences and opportunities.  I don’t think Atlas Sports Genetics’ tests are going to make or break your child’s chances of getting a college scholarship; if your child is talented and has work ethic and discipline, his accomplishments will speak for themselves.

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Taper- Resting Before A Competition For Peak Performance.

Monday, February 8th, 2010

Try This At Home………………………

Have your child hold her hands straight out to the side at shoulder height, like an airplane, for 30 seconds.  Depending on her age and ability you may need to make some adjustments by either decreasing or increasing the time or having her hold a water bottle in each hand for extra weight.  You want her to feel a little fatigue at the end of the 30 seconds, but most importantly, be successful in completing the task.  Afterward, tell her that this exercise is meant to show her what she can accomplish when she has allowed her body to rest before a performance.   

Next, have her hold her arms out first for 15 seconds, then 20 seconds and finally 25 seconds with a minute rest in-between.  After another minute or two of rest, have her hold her arms out for 30 seconds again, like she did in the first exercise.  Have her compare how she felt during the first 30 second exercise to the second time she did it.  Explain to her that  not allowing her body to rest and recover before a big competition can cause a less than optimal performance, just as it did in the second exercise. 

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Resting before a big competition or game is generally called a taper.  It is an extremely important part of achieving peak performance.  A complete taper is only done before the most important competitions.  A mini taper can be done before other competitions, but for some competitions your child may choose not to taper at all.  Your child needs to know what her ultimate goal is and understand that in order to be as prepared as possible, she may need to sacrifice by training through less important competitions.  In order to improve, she needs to increase her work load and intensity; if she is always tapering for relatively unimportant events, she won’t maximize her gains.

I found that racing unimportant races in a tired state was a great way to raise my game.  I am extremely competitive, so I always pushed myself harder in a race than I ever could train by myself, even when I was exhausted.

A mini taper generally ranges from a few days to a week.  During my career, my main goal each year was either the World Championships or the Olympics.  Therefore, before World Cups and important National selection races I only did a mini taper.  All of the coaches I worked with during my cycling career worked backward from my competition when they developed my taper. 

  • The day before my competition I did what we called,”openers”.  Openers were about half of a normal workout and focused on the heart rate zones and intensity I’d be using most in my race.  The purpose was to wake my body up and make sure it was ready to work hard again after several days of rest. 
  • Two days before my race I would go for an easy hour ride. 
  • Three days before my competition I would generally do an easy hour ride as well, but sometimes I would take completely off. 
  • Four and five days out I’d do a normal workout, but I would control myself and wouldn’t over do it.  If I did a second workout either day, it consisted of an easy half hour to hour ride.
  • Six days out I’d generally ride for an easy hour or two. 

A big taper can begin anywhere from a week to two weeks out from the competition. It follows the same structure as a mini taper, but is less dramatic further  from the competition.  In my regular training I generally trained three to four days in a row before taking an easy day.  Often I did two workouts a day.  For a big taper, two weeks out I’d decrease to one intense workout a day, and if there was a second workout it would just be an easy ride.  I’d also decrease the number of intense days between rest days, so instead of going three days before a rest day, I’d do two days or sometimes even one.

It is easy to think that more is better and that last minute cramming will pay off, but in general you child is better off going into her competition rested. That is a true statement for sports as well as other activities and academics.

Every athlete and every sport is different, but the principle is the same; peak performances come from rested athletes.  Decreasing her work load is the most import part of a taper, but making sure she is getting proper sleep and nutrition is also important.  She should know, that just because she has a rest day doesn’t mean she can go play Ultimate Frisbee with her friends, or spend hours on her feet shopping.  She truly needs to rest if she wants to perform at her best.  

For more information on myself or my children’s books please visit www.erinmirabella.com

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Goal accomplished! What’s next?

Monday, February 1st, 2010

Try This At Home…………………….

If you haven’t already, have your child do the exercises at the beginning of the first and second goal setting posts.  Next have child write out a plan for after he’s accomplished his goal.  How does he want to celebrate? How long of a break does he want to take? What is his next step or goal to focus on?

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After spending time, energy, resources and pinning hopes and dreams on achieving a goal, there is often a void and let down after the goal has been accomplished and the attention and accolades have stopped.  The honest truth is that success and the attention that goes with it are addicting.  Just like any addiction, you can only ride the high for so long. 

There are a few things you can do to ease the feelings your child may feel after he has accomplished his goal.

1. Explain that what he is feeling is normal.  You may even choose to prepare him ahead of time that it may be coming. Just knowing why he feels the way he does might help.

2. Keep him busy.  It’s okay to allow for a day or two of down time, but then get him back into his routine.

3. Don’t forget to celebrate his accomplishment.  Let him enjoy the attention, but don’t let it go to his head.  If you stay humble, he’s more likely too.

4. Teach him to achieve for himself, not for attention from other people.

5. Most importantly, have him set another goal.  Knowing what is next will give him a purpose again and something new to focus on. 

Make sure he takes care of himself.  Despite the potential lack of sleep and poor diet that may go along with the celebration, it’s important he stays healthy.  I got sick every year after the World Championships.  After a whole year of planning and preparing for it, my body just seemed to let go once it was over.  As soon as I had relaxed and my guard was down, bam, I’d get sick.  Help your child safe guard against this. 

The downer isn’t any fun, but it is just a fact of life.  The harsh reality is, to many people you are only as good as your last accomplishment and, sooner than later, the accomplishment is old news.  It’s not a fun reality, but learning to cope with it now will make it easier on your child later in life.

For more information on myself and my children’s books, please visit www.erinmirabella.com

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Goal Setting, Part 2

Monday, January 25th, 2010

 Try This At Home……………..

Next time your child fails at achieving her goal, have her make a list of everything that she did well and a list of all the things that did not go well.  Then have her analyze the second list and come up with ways to fix or improve upon them.   Once those things are fixed, have her try again.

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We’ve all failed to accomplish a goal at one time or another.  It’s normal to feel lousy when it happens, but the more productive response would be to figure out why it happened.  Cavett Robert said, “Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds you down or polishes you up, is for you and you alone to decide.”  You can let your failures control and define you, or you can learn from them and use them to your advantage.  The choice is yours.

Fear of failure was the thing that I struggled most with during my cycling career.  I was so afraid of not being perfect that I would agonize over the possibility of failure.  Like everything in life, the thing that you dwell on is what comes to be, and left unchecked my fear became a self fulfilling prophesy.  Fear of failure is a separate post all to itself, but I mention it because in learning to deal with my fear, I learned an important lesson about failure…….While failure is unpleasant, it doesn’t make you a failure and it isn’t the end of the world.  It’s simply a step toward becoming successful.  You won’t find a successful person out there who hasn’t failed a few times in the process. 
                                                           
We all want to protect our kids and hate to see them fail, but as I’ve said over and over again in my blog posts, your child will learn far more from failing than they will from success.  Sure, failure isn’t any fun, but it can teach a valuable lesson. 

                                                                                    Reasons Why We Fail

We Went About It Wrong

Most likely the reason your child failed is because she went about it the wrong way.  This is the most valuable lesson in failing.  If she can realize where she went wrong and fix it, then the next time she’ll be successful. Help her analyze the situation and figure how she can improve.  

Lack of Motivation/ Follow Through

If your child seems unmotivated to do what is necessary to accomplish her goal, then it might be time for her to access if the goal is still important to her.  Sometimes priorities change.  My husband quit his wrestling career in the middle of a tournament.  In the middle of a match, he decided it just wasn’t fun anymore.

The other option may be that she just doesn’t want to put in the work.  She wants the reward that comes with accomplishing her goal, but she isn’t willing to do what it takes to get there.  In the end if she fails at her goal because of her work ethic then she’ll learn an important life lesson.  Letting her learn this lesson the hard way, while she is young, is the best gift you can give her.

Lack of focus

Your child may fail to accomplish her goals, because she isn’t focused enough at the task at hand.  She needs to choose which goal is most important and give that the most attention.  She may not know how to focus.  Focusing is a learned thing and is something that is crucial to success in all aspects of life.  Check out my previous prioritization blog for tips on teaching your child to prioritize and stay tuned in a few weeks for my post on the art of focusing. 

Unrealistic Expectations

Your child’s goals may be unrealistic.  If she fails to meet her goal it’s a great opportunity for her to be completely honest about why it happened.  She may have inadvertently set herself up for failure by setting an unrealistic goal.  Help her learn to set realistic goals.  This doesn’t mean that she can’t dream big, it just means she has to be realistic about things like her timetable, talents, abilities, etc.  Some goals take a long time to reach, and some people are better suited at achieving some goals than others.  

If she has failed to reach her goal the first thing she should look at is her timetable.  Maybe her goal would be more achievable if she gave herself more time.  She may also need to add in some additional sub-goals.  Maybe her plan is missing a few steps.

The harder thing for her to do will be to access her abilities. She may find her talents lend themselves better to a new and different goal. She may find she has more to lose by continuing her pursuit than she does by throwing in the towel.  The choice is never an easy one, but this too is an important lesson to learn. 

Part of learning to set goals, is learning what to do when it doesn’t work out.  It is an important skill set for your child to develop.  Learning from their failure will make them successful.

For more information on myself or my children’s books please visit www.erinmirabella.com  My book, Gracie Goat’s Big Bike Race, is an excellent way to talk about overcoming fears with your child.

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