Posts Tagged ‘Barnsville Sports Squad’

Coaching Issues

Monday, March 29th, 2010

Try This At Home…………………….

Evaluate your child’s coach.  Have your child write down three things he likes about his coach and three things he doesn’t like. If necessary, have him elaborate on his answers.  Next, you rate his coaches on a scale of 1-5, with 5 being the highest, in the following categories.  Values and morals, communication skills, positive attitude, language choices, fairness, ability to teach and promote teamwork, sportsmanship, ability to physically prepare the kids, ability to motivate, compatibility with your child.  If your child is old enough to understand, he can rate his coach as well.  Don’t share your answers until you are both finished.  If your child’s answers, or any of your ratings, are alarming, it may be time to make a change.

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We all put great thought into which daycare or babysitter we leave our young child with.  We want to make sure our child is safe and happy and that the morals and values of the caregiver are similar to ours.  We need to put just as much thought into who is coaching our child.  Coaches do more than assign kid’s positions on the field, run drills, and help get your child physically ready for the demand of his sport.  A coach is in the position to instill values and morals in your child, and set examples in areas like teamwork, sportsmanship and work ethic.  The odds are your child will look up to his coach and will emulate him or her. 

At all the national events throughout my entire cycling career, one of the ever present coaches was a hot headed, offensive coach who displayed all sorts of poor sportsmanship.  My first encounter with him was at Junior Nationals and unfortunately I continued to “run” into him until I retired from cycling.  For the life of me I can’t understand why anyone would choose him as their coach.  While some of his riders did get some good results, there were several other coaches who could get the job done just as well.  I found it interesting that adults submitted themselves to his antics and behavior, but just plain appalling that parents subjected their children to it.  Even if they thought he was the best coach out there, I can’t believe they would leave their children in his care.  By doing so they were telling their child that they condoned the coach’s behavior.

Part of the importance of sport, and the whole point of my blog, is to utilize sports to teach the fundamentals and building blocks needed to succeed in all areas of life. I think that one of the most important thing sports can instill in your child, is the deep founded belief that more important than winning, is how you play the game.  This lesson, while it may not always put him on top, will ensure that he can always be proud of who he is and what he accomplished.  The coaches you allow to work with your child over the course of his life will play a big part in laying the foundation for his values and morals. A good coach will reinforce positive sportsmanship and values and a bad coach will do just the opposite. 

In an individual sport you have a lot of discretion as to who you choose as your child’s coach.  For team sports that may not always be the case.  If you have an issue with your child’s coach, you may have an opportunity to switch leagues or teams, but if that isn’t an option, you still have a few choices.  Being interactive is the most important part.  Know what is going on at practice and games so you can discuss any situations that arise with your child. Talk with other parents to see if they have had similar experiences with the coach.  At a time when everyone is calm and rational, you can have a discussion with the coach.  You don’t need to attack him or her, just voice your concern.  You can also raise your concerns with the league.  If you don’t have any other options, and you feel very strongly about the affect a coach is having on your child, you can always try a different sport. 

The odds are, while a coach may not be your favorite for one reason or another, he or she isn’t all that bad, but it is important for parents to be aware and involved.

My children’s book, Shawn Sheep The Soccer Star, focuses on teamwork and sportsmanship.  In the book, the soccer coach is an excellent example of an exemplary coach.  The book is a good way to start a discussion with your child about these topics. 

For more information about me or my children’s books, please visit www.erinmirabella.com.

I’m taking next week off for spring break.  Please check back for my next post on April 12th.

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Posted in Coaching, values and morals | 2 Comments »

Risk Taking

Monday, March 22nd, 2010

Try This At Home…………………

Take three paper bags. In the first bag, place one piece of candy that your child really likes.  In the second bag, place two pieces of the same candy.  In the third bag, place one piece of her favorite candy.  Place the three closed paper bags in front of your child.  Don’t let her touch them.  Tell her that the first bag contains one piece of the candy she really likes. She can choose to take that bag, or she can take a risk and chose one of the other bags.  Explain that by accepting the risk and taking one of the other bags, she may find an even better surprise, but it could also be just an empty bag.  Tell her that the purpose of the exercise is to encourage her to take smart risks.  Share the rest of the blog with her.  

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Each of us has a choice; we can live safe in our comfort zone, or we can challenge ourselves and take some calculated risks.  Taking smart risks offers us the possibility of  achieving more than we ever could have imagined.  There is a saying I like, I believe it’s also a book title. “Shoot for the moon: even if  you miss you’ll land among the stars.” 

When it comes to taking a risk, the question you need to ask yourself is, “What have you got to lose?”  More often than not, the answer is, nothing but a bit of pride.  Taking a calculated risk is often what it takes to get ahead.  If we always live life in our comfort zone we don’t allow ourselves many opportunities to shine.   Likewise, if we always know what the outcome is before we start, we never get a chance to find out what we’re truly are capable of.  I think it’s safe to say that a lot of  people underestimate themselves.

On the other hand, sometimes there is something to lose from taking a risk. A risk is just that, a risk, there is no guarantee. That is why I like to use the term calculated risk.  Your child will need to weigh her choices, sometimes rather quickly.  If the potential upside, outweighs the potential downside, then it is probably a risk worth taking.  Likewise, the opposite is true.   If the downside of taking the risk, outweighs the potential upside, then your child should probably choose to pass. 

In my children’s book, Gracie Goat’s Big Bike Race, Gracie agrees to compete in a bike race with her friends, but she fails to mention that she doesn’t know how to ride a bike and that she’s afraid to learn.  Her Grandma comforts her and asks her what the worst thing is that can happen if she gives learning to ride a try.  She then asks what the worst thing is that could happen if she doesn’t try to learn. Through the questioning, Gracie realizes that either way her answer is the same.  She really has nothing to lose.  She can try to learn and if she fails her friends may laugh at her and she won’t be able to join them in the bike race, or she can not try, and her friends still might laugh at her and she won’t be able to race with them in the bike race.  The story is meant to help children overcome and rationalize their fears, but the approach can also be used to teach your child to take risks. The next time your child is contemplating a risk, have her play the Gracie game.  Ask her, what is the worst thing that can happen if she takes the risk and it doesn’t work out.  Next, ask her what is the best thing that can happen if she takes the risk and it does work out.  Also, have her think about what will happen if she chooses not to take the risk. 

Taking a risk and failing, is simply a mistake to be learned from.  Throughout my cycling career, and life, I’ve found that sometime the only way to reach your goal is by taking risks.  Sometimes taking a risk and failing turns out to be a blessing in disguise, because it makes you better.  Have your child think of it like this:  Her goal is like a really high wall.  She’s climbing up it, but she’s stuck just a short distance from the top.  There is no where else for her to grab.  By taking a risk and failing, her wall will crumble some, but the crumbled wall may make a new hand hold for her that will allow her to keep climbing.  She can take advantage of her mistake and let it help her scale the wall and stand on top victorious.

Taking a risk can be scary, but really, what do you have to lose?

Note- There are good risks and bad risks.  It’s important for your child to know the difference.  No amount of success or glory is more valuable than life.  Taking a dangerous risk, one that could get you hurt, or worse, isn’t a good risk to take.  (However, sports are inherently dangerous, so there is always some risk involved.  A skilled athlete taking a reasonable, but risky chance, is sometimes what it takes to win.)

For more information on me or my children’s books, please visit www.erinmirabella.com.

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Posted in Goal Setting, Overcoming fears, Risk Taking | 1 Comment »

Someone Is Always Watching

Monday, March 1st, 2010

This At Home……….

Without asking for specifics, as your child to think about a time when they did something that they regretted doing in public.  Have them imagine how much worse it would have been, if it were broadcast for the whole world to see.  If he wants to share the details that’s fine, but respect his privacy. Ask him how his actions affected him and how he thinks they may have affected others. (Family, friends, coach, etc.)

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Even if you’re not famous, someone is always watching.  You never know how your actions, good or bad, will affect those around you.  It could be as simple as your child watching how you react to a driver who cuts you off in traffic, or a stranger watching you help another stranger.  Help your child understand that their actions have consequences and that one moment of carelessness, in some cases, can have huge repercussions. 

With today’s technology, even for the “unknown,’ there really aren’t any private moments in public places.  Help your child understand the these days everyone has a camera, because everyone has a cell phone. His behavior, good or bad, is literally just a keystroke away from being in cyber space for everyone to see. If you are famous, or at least temporarily in the spotlight, it is even more crucial for you to think before you act. 

I was planning to write about seizing the moment, but I just saw a story on Geraldo At Large, on Fox, about all of the athletes gone wild at the Olympic Village, and felt compelled to blog about it.

Every Olympics there is a news story about all of the condoms shipped to the Olympic Village and a story about some athlete who gets a little too out of control. 

This Olympics the spot light is on the American snowboarder, Scotty Lago.  After winning the bronze medal, he went out to celebrate in Vancouver.  Someone shot a picture of him behaving questionably, and after its release on the internet, he volunteered to leave the Olympic Village, presumably with some pressure from the United States Olympic Committee.

The hot topic seems to be whether or not the Olympic Committee overreacted, but I prefer to focus on the lesson.  However, I do feel compelled to say this, when at the Olympics, athletes are representing more than themselves.  It’s natural for athletes to want to blow off steam after four years of preparation, and the huge let down that comes when all the pressure is off after competition.  However, athletes need to remember that while they are at competitions, they represent more than just themselves. They represent their families, sponsors and their country.  So, regardless of whether or not you think what Scotty did is worthy of getting booted from the Olympic Village, you have to take into account how it reflects on the other parties involved.  We know how the Olympic Committee reacted, but I can only imagine how his sponsors and family felt.   For some celebrities, even bad press is a good thing. For others, like Olympians and Tiger Woods, whose image is built on being wholesome and squeaky clean, it has the potential to be damaging.  (I say potential, because sometimes the public is surprisingly forgiving.)

Remind your child that besides having to deal with the consequences of his actions, he also potentially affects others around him, including  family, friends, team and school.  There is nothing wrong with having some fun, but there is also nothing wrong with keeping it under control and acting responsibly.

For younger children, my book, Shawn Sheep The Soccer Star, is a great way to start a discussion about how a person’s, “or sheep’s” behavior can affect those around him.  Please visit www.erinmirabella.com for more information about my children’s books.

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Posted in Role Models, Sportsmanship, values and morals | 3 Comments »

Help your child combat nerves.

Monday, November 9th, 2009

Try This At Home……………….

Have your child make a list of the ingredients that make up his or her perfect performance, whether it is for sports, school, or something else.  For example, do they need to be aggressive, patient, calm, thorough, go harder on a certain cue, watch for a certain tactic, etc.  Once he or she has written it down, have them close their eyes and visualize having the perfect performance, by doing all of the things on the list. Have your child visualize this daily.  Next time he or she starts to get nervous, pull out the list and have them focus on the specific things he or she needs to do to be successful. Your child’s pre-performance routine is also important.   I’ll discuss that in next week’s blog.

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Are you one of those people like me, who gets nervous before competition, or are you more like my husband, Chris, who hardly gets nervous at all?  How about your kids?

If your kids get very nervous before their performance, they may not be competing at their best and worst-case scenario may develop an aversion to competing.   Pre-competition jitters are good to a point, but past that they become detrimental. Help your child deal with extreme nervousness, by discovering the root of the problem and teaching them tactics for combating their nerves.

During my cycling career I got extremely nervous before races.  The more important a race was to me, the more nervous I got.  Since track racing was my main focus, I was painfully nervous before every race.  Once I started racing I was fine, but it was not uncommon for me to make myself ill to the point of puking before a race.  The question always became, whether or not I could control my nerves enough to prevent them from negatively affecting my racing. Even through I loved track racing, I started enjoying road racing more, simply because I didn’t get as nervous for it. Thankfully I learned some tactics to combat my nerves, but it was still something that I struggled with at every race. 

One of my motivations for doing this weekly blog is to help the next generation overcome some of the detrimental hang-ups that I watched myself and other Olympians battle with during our careers.  Each of us had our own personal nemesis that, left unchecked, inhibited us from reaching our full potential.  A lot of the reason I would get so nervous was due to my nemeses, my unrealistically high expectations and fear of failure.  These are topics for their own blog posts, but I mention them because I think it’s important to get to the root of the problem.  You and your children might have different reasons for being nervous, but no matter the cause, here are some things that I found that helped me. 

I tried not to think; it was my worst enemy.  I have an overactive imagination and the what-ifs always got me.  One of the reason’s I trained so hard, was so that when race time came instinct would kick in.  If I could turn my brain off and go on autopilot, my body would take over and do what it did every day in training. I knew if I could just get to the start line with out psyching myself out, I’d be fine.

The what-ifs can be motivating for some, but for me they became all consuming.  I knew that in order to be successful at racing, I had to stop thinking about the end result and focus on the things I had to do  in order to be successful.  So, Instead of thinking about winning or losing, I focused on things like my pre-race routine, my aggressiveness and pack positioning during the race. (For those readers who aren’t cyclists, a group of cyclists is called a pack.)  Since in the end I couldn’t control what my competition did or didn’t do, I tried to stop worry about them and focus on what I could control.  If I focused on the small picture things, I found the big picture took care of itself.

Lastly, and this was something I was crummy at remembering, our past does not have to be indicative of our future.  Each new competition is just that, new.  It is a fresh start, and while it’s important to learn from our past mistakes they don’t need to define us.  In addition, Remind them  to have some fun.

Hopefully these will give you a starting point when it comes to fighting nerves. If you have any tactics that help you, please share them.

My children’s book, Gracie Goat’s Bike Race, addresses Gracie’s fears and anxiety’s.  It is a great book to read to kids who are nervous because they are worried about all of the what-ifs.  For more information on Gracie please visit www.erinmirabella.com.

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Erin Mirabella

Thursday, September 10th, 2009
  • Two Time Olympic track cyclist.
  • Author of two children’s books in the Barnsville Sports Squad Series: Gracie Goat’s Big Bike Race and Shawn Sheep The Soccer Star.
  • Mother of two.
  • Recipient of The 2006 Jack Kelly Fair Play Award for sportsmanship.
  • 4th place in the 2004 Olympic Points Race.

This weekly blog is all about the fundamentals kids learn through sports that then help them in all aspects of their lives.  You’ve heard Robert Fulghum’s saying that All I Ever Need To Know About Life, I learned In Kindergarten.  I contend that everything you need to succeed in life you can learn through sports.  Each week I explore a new sports topic that matters to parents and kids.  Each post starts off with a TRY THIS AT HOME section that suggests an activity for parents to do at home with their kiddos.
 
During my Olympic cycling career, I watched myself and other Olympians struggle with different basic sports issues: teamwork, fear of failure, self confidence, sportsmanship, temptation to cheat, etc.  I always thought that if we had all learned the basics as kids, we could have saved ourselves a lot of time with the sports psychologist.  Give your kids a head start by discussing the blog topics with them each week.

When I created the Barnsville Sports Squad children’s book series, my goal was to create books that parents and teachers could use to entertain, inspire and teach their kids about sports, sportmanship, making healthy choices and life’s lessons.   This gives me another venue to reach out and do just that.

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