Archive for the ‘Role Models’ Category

Someone Is Always Watching

Monday, March 1st, 2010

This At Home……….

Without asking for specifics, as your child to think about a time when they did something that they regretted doing in public.  Have them imagine how much worse it would have been, if it were broadcast for the whole world to see.  If he wants to share the details that’s fine, but respect his privacy. Ask him how his actions affected him and how he thinks they may have affected others. (Family, friends, coach, etc.)

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Even if you’re not famous, someone is always watching.  You never know how your actions, good or bad, will affect those around you.  It could be as simple as your child watching how you react to a driver who cuts you off in traffic, or a stranger watching you help another stranger.  Help your child understand that their actions have consequences and that one moment of carelessness, in some cases, can have huge repercussions. 

With today’s technology, even for the “unknown,’ there really aren’t any private moments in public places.  Help your child understand the these days everyone has a camera, because everyone has a cell phone. His behavior, good or bad, is literally just a keystroke away from being in cyber space for everyone to see. If you are famous, or at least temporarily in the spotlight, it is even more crucial for you to think before you act. 

I was planning to write about seizing the moment, but I just saw a story on Geraldo At Large, on Fox, about all of the athletes gone wild at the Olympic Village, and felt compelled to blog about it.

Every Olympics there is a news story about all of the condoms shipped to the Olympic Village and a story about some athlete who gets a little too out of control. 

This Olympics the spot light is on the American snowboarder, Scotty Lago.  After winning the bronze medal, he went out to celebrate in Vancouver.  Someone shot a picture of him behaving questionably, and after its release on the internet, he volunteered to leave the Olympic Village, presumably with some pressure from the United States Olympic Committee.

The hot topic seems to be whether or not the Olympic Committee overreacted, but I prefer to focus on the lesson.  However, I do feel compelled to say this, when at the Olympics, athletes are representing more than themselves.  It’s natural for athletes to want to blow off steam after four years of preparation, and the huge let down that comes when all the pressure is off after competition.  However, athletes need to remember that while they are at competitions, they represent more than just themselves. They represent their families, sponsors and their country.  So, regardless of whether or not you think what Scotty did is worthy of getting booted from the Olympic Village, you have to take into account how it reflects on the other parties involved.  We know how the Olympic Committee reacted, but I can only imagine how his sponsors and family felt.   For some celebrities, even bad press is a good thing. For others, like Olympians and Tiger Woods, whose image is built on being wholesome and squeaky clean, it has the potential to be damaging.  (I say potential, because sometimes the public is surprisingly forgiving.)

Remind your child that besides having to deal with the consequences of his actions, he also potentially affects others around him, including  family, friends, team and school.  There is nothing wrong with having some fun, but there is also nothing wrong with keeping it under control and acting responsibly.

For younger children, my book, Shawn Sheep The Soccer Star, is a great way to start a discussion about how a person’s, “or sheep’s” behavior can affect those around him.  Please visit www.erinmirabella.com for more information about my children’s books.

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Posted in Role Models, Sportsmanship, values and morals | 3 Comments »

Raise your child’s game through competition and modeling.

Monday, November 23rd, 2009

Try This At Home……………………………

Here is a great way to help you child improve in a sport or activity that he or she is already interested in and good at.  Find out who is the most celebrated person in that sport or activity and do some serious research on them. (Research them on the Internet, watch videos of them, etc.) Analyze the specific things that make that person successful and encourage your child to emulate and model them.  Have your child work on improving those characteristics or skills you identified.

Next, find someone locally who is just a little better than you child and, if possible, have your child practice with him or her on a weekly basis.  Encourage your child to learn from them.  Monitor the situation to make sure you child is having fun and isn’t getting frustrated.

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Competition makes you better.  If your child is always the best player on the team or in his or her league, then they aren’t being challenged and pushed to improve. If at all possible, find someone for you child to train with who can push and challenge them.  This will prevent their progress from becoming stagnant. Without competition your child ends up a big fish in a small pond. Later, it’s hard to move from the pond, where he or she is the star and accustomed to winning, to the lake or ocean, where he or she is just a little fish and won’t necessarily find success immediately.  (It’s not a bad idea to get a realistic idea of what you child can expect when they bump up to the next level, but I’ll save the details of that for another post.)

My first year training at the Olympic Training Center was a gradual immersion into the world of elite international racing.   My second year however, felt more like getting thrown into the deep end of a pool to see if I’d sink or swim.  Thankfully I didn’t sink, but that was in large part because I was training with stronger, more experienced women.  They pushed me every day, physically and mentally, and their presence both encouraged and forced me to raise my game if I wanted to succeed.

I vividly remember a training day at a World Cup selection track camp in Plano, Texas. Nicole Reinhart*, Karen Dunn and I were all vying for a spot in the points race at the upcoming World Cup, and each work out was considered by the coaches in selection. This particular work out was on the velodrome (a cycling track.) Our coach was driving the motorcycle and we were taking turns coming around the motor and leading out sprints to the finish line.  The goal was to win the sprint.  Karen and Nicole were much more experienced than me.  For the first few sprints my timing was all off; I would either go hard too soon, or I would kick too late.  I’ve very competitive, but instead of getting frustrated I tried to figure out what the other girls were doing that I wasn’t.  We were rotating through and taking turns leading out the sprints, so every third sprint I had an opportunity to watch them from behind.  I noted how they made their moves, when they made their moves, and how successful they were at it. I started copying their successes and by the end of the workout I was winning sprints. 

That year I trained with, lived with, and vied for spots against those same women, over and over again.  As difficult and stressful as it was at the time, it was probably one of the best things that could have happened to me, because I never became complacent and improved immensely.

Later on in my career I didn’t have that same benefit.  I found that training with guys was another way to raise my game.  This is one advantage women have over men, women always have the opportunity to train or practice against someone stronger and faster than them, because they can train with the men. 

I am grateful that I learned this lesson early on in my career. If you child has aspirations to make it to the next level, then he or she needs to constantly be looking for ways to improve.  Training with and modeling after people who are better are great ways to do that. Just like in a free market, we all benefit from healthy competition.

* Nicole Reinhart was a fantastic road sprinter, fierce competitor, a good, kind person, and someone I looked up to and admired. Her life was tragically cut short in a cycling accident during a race on September 17, 2000.  I’d like to dedicate today’s blog to her memory and encourage you to visit www.nicolefund.org for more information about her.

For more information about me or my children’s books, please visit www.erinmirabella.com.

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Posted in Goal Setting, Modeling, Role Models, Strengths and Weaknesses, competition | 2 Comments »

Role Models & The Fall Off The Pedestal

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

Try this at home…….

 Next time someone you and your child respect screws up, try this.  (It doesn’t have to be someone famous.)  First ask your child three questions. 1.What did their hero do wrong?  2. What should they have done instead?  3. What should they do now to fix the situation now?  Next, have them write down two of their hero’s good qualities, and two area’s they feel their hero could use some improvement.  Then have your child write down two good things about themselves as well as two things that they could improve on.  Have your child look at their list and come up with one way they can be more like their hero’s good qualities, and one way they can be less like their hero’s bad qualities.  Also have them look at their own list.  How can they change their behavior to start improving the qualities they aren’t proud of?  Mom, Dad, you can make a list too.  It’s good for your children to see you analyzing your own behavior and attempting to correct it.  Remind them that change takes time; it isn’t easy. 

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Serena Williams and Kanye West have been all over the news this week for their poor sportsmanship.  Pretty much everyone agrees that their behavior was unacceptable,  but there is some debate about whether or not it’s forgivable.  Some say yes, because they are only human and they apologized.  Others say no, because apologies these days are always followed with a BUT, and they are supposed to be role models for our children. 

Being a celebrity doesn’t make a person perfect, it just means that every poor choice they make is splashed all over the news and discussed to nausea by the talking heads on television.  Our society sometimes forgets that being extraordinary at something doesn’t necessarily make a person nice or smart.  Nor does it automatically give them valuable political insight or make them deserving of the title of role model. Let’s face it, some are just rich jerks.  On the other hand, some celebrities are wonderful role models, but even they are still human.  No person is perfect, so no person is a role model in every aspect of his or her life.  So, instead of putting your child’s favorite player/ star up on a pedestal, respect and admire them for what they are great at and use their flaws as teaching opportunities.  

We are all human and we have all been poor sports at one time or another.  I certainly have had moments over the course of my career/life that I’m not very proud of.  Having said that, the best role models for kids are their parents.  Believe me, they are watching everything you do and remember everything you say.  (Unless they are zoned out in front of the television with their mouths agape.) The examples you set are the ones they will follow.  As they get older, friends, teachers, and even celebrities become role models too.   Unfortunately you can’t control their actions you can only hold them up as good and bad examples. 

I know there are some of you screaming at the screen right now, and you are right.  A celebrity, in their position, should hold themselves to a higher standard because part of the responsibility that comes with fame and power is being a role model.  I wish every famous athlete/star took that role seriously.  Since not all of them do, it is our job as parents to help our kids see things for what they are and teach them accordingly.

In my book, Shawn Sheep The Soccer Star, Shawn learns this lesson the hard way.  Reading this story to your child is a great way start a discussion about poor sportsmanship and help them to see that some things their hero does may not be acceptable or cool.  After reading the book try asking them some of these questions.

1. How was Shawn behaving at his soccer game? 

2. Was Shawn being a good sport?  How was he a bad teammate?  How did he treat the other team poorly? 

3. Why did Shawn start behaving poorly at his game?

4. What happened because of Shawn’s behavior?  How did his coach, parents, and friends react?

5. How did Paul the Peacock treat Shawn?

6. What did Shawn learn from his meeting with Paul the Peacock?  Did Shawn change? 

7. How are you a good teammate?

8. Have you ever been a bad sport?

9. Have you seen your teammates be bad sports?  If yes, how did it make you feel?

10. What can you do to be a better teammate and a good sport?

11. What can you do to help your teammates be good sports?

12. How do you feel when someone treats you poorly?

For more information on Erin Mirabella or her children’s books please visit www.erinmirabella.com

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